Sunday, August 10, 2008

Male role models?

My view about men has changed due to all I have experienced in the last few years. This one experience didn't change my viewpoint; the relationship was the cherry on top of the icing on top of the cake.

He would tell me constantly through our relationship that no man wanted me for anything other than sex. If a man was friendly or even just cordial to me it was that guys way of tearing down the boundaries to get closer to me. That is why he did even want to retun a greeting from a man, because he viewed the greeting as an advance.

I felt many man spent too much time trying to get at women, but I didn't feel like every man was trying to sleep with me. Now I do not even take the chance; I am really abrupt with men. In no way do I want to give the impression that I would welcome an inappropriate advance. I also now feel that 95% of men are selfish creatures and they use woman.

I have to get my negative feelings about men in check, because I have a son that I am raising to be a beautiful, strong, compassionate and respectful young man. He will need strong male role models, but how will I be able to provide him that if I do not trust men enough to even hold friendship with them. How would I be able to trust a man around my son? I do not trust his own father around him. The thing is that I can't keep him sheltered much longer. Soon he will have to go to school and I will not be able to watch and protect him all day long. The thought of that scares me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have always been a gifted individual and I'm glad you are using this as a resource to get alot of pain and frustration out. Stay Strong...

Anonymous said...

Your comments show that you are a strong, determined and very responsible woman. You know the pain of abuse and mistreatment from men, yet you were blessed to have a son who will some day be a man. Another man, like the 95% of them you said are selfish and want to use women. If you are truly ready and willing to raise your son to be one of the ones who are gentle, loving and respectful of women and a woman's body there's alot of soul searching and healing that has to take place in you. You cannot live your life of fear thru your children and unintentionally teach them to live in fear and distrust of others as well. You seem to be a very talented, inspirational, and aspiring woman. Pray, put your trust in God 1st and He will help you heal and learn how to trust others as well.