Who is a batterer?

You cannot stereotype a batterer. He can be anyone, the guy at your church, your children's teacher or coach. Many batterer's hold patriarchal beliefs about the traditional roles of men and women in a household. Some even compare themselves to being Kings or Gods.

Men who have a fear of abandonment have a greater risk of becoming abusive in intimate relationships. Men with borderline personality disorder become abusive because of this same fear of abandonment. Whether the fear is real or perceived it can triggeranxiety, anger, jealously and instability. These emotions correlate with verbal and physical abuse.

According to the Neidig and Friedman theory, there are two different types of abusers; Expressive and Instrumental. Expressive abusers' emotions tend to gradual escalate until both partners mutually reciprocate violence. Usually after the violent incident both partners show genuine remorse. The men usually take personal responsibilty and are motivated to change. Expressive violence can be treated if diagnosis early.

In Expressive anger, physical abuse is an expression of anger, jealously or fear. Instrumental violence, however, is used for controlling and intimidating a victim. It is usually accompanied by emotional abuse, threats, humiliating and degrading remarks. These men have a higher rate of personality disorders.

Instrumental violence is a rapid escalation of violence. The batterer shows no remorse. This type of violence is meant to control and punish the victim. These men lack empathy and the motivation to change. The prognosis for ending this type of violence is unlikely.