The jealous guy

One of the biggest problems that he had with me is that he thought I was cheating on him. I have no male friends. Even today, I have no male friends. That did not matter to him because there were still males in my family, my sisters had boyfriend, my friends had boyfriends, some of my co-workers were male, there were males at the grocery store, the bus driver was a man - I just couldn't escape that we live in a society that have males.

Every man was a man I either cheated with or might cheat with in the future. He would become very angry with me if a man looked in my direction; as if I could control where they looked. I never gave him a reason to feel insecure because I don't have a wandering eye and I am the furtherest thing from a flirt. In his mind, I was a whore and would always be a whore. He said that all women cheat and all women are sneaky sluts. I had to pay for the wrongs of the women who wronged him in the past. I tried to prove to him that I was different and that women who sneak around and cheat are not women at all; they were still little girls in my mind. A women to me is someone with integrity and he had no need to worry.

His jealously was so bad that he would screen my calls, he followed me to watch who I would speak to when I walked down the street, he read my emails and etc. He never found anything but chalked it up to that I was really smart and one day he would catch me. He said when he finally did get the proof he needed it would be over for me.

It's scary when someone refuses to believe you, especially when you are not doing anything wrong. He was so convinced that I was a cheater and liar that he made me afraid to be in my own skin. In the beginning I thought his being jealous just proved how much he cared about me; now I know how wrong I was. His jealously had nothing to do with me at all - it is a sickness he has where he pictures these crazy scenarios and convinces himself that they are true. The more I tried to convince him otherwise the more guilty to him I became.