When leaving an abusive relationship is it ever safe to go back? Are the children safe to have a relationship with the abusive parent? The reason why I ask is because my son misses is father. Lately, he has been misbehaving and regressing. Will seeing his father or allowing them to speak daily help? Will it worsen the situation? It is so hard to say.
How vital is the father's role in a young boy's life?
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Friday, November 7, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Domestic Violence affects children
About 10 million children witness family violence each year. Most critics agree that these children are more likely to grow up and perpetrate violence than other children.
Children who witness family violence experience feelings of being frightened, guilty and ashamed. Toddlers act out by breaking toys. Teenage boys tend to get into fights. Teenage girls withdrawal and internalize their negative feelings. Children of all ages exhibit symptoms of uncontrolled outburst of anger, post-traumatic stress syndrome and problems concentrating in school. They are more likely to be depressed, have anxiety and be violent towards their peers. They are more likely to commit suicide, use drugs and alcohol, runaway and engaged in sexual activities.
Children might feel caught in the middle of both parents. Young men might protect their mothers or start to abuse them their-self. This is why it is important to put children into counseling to teach them nonviolent ways of dealing with their parents' fights and how to escape if needed.
According to one study, 70% of children who witness family violence do not become violent. Instead ecological, psychological, interpersonal and societal issues determine the probability of a child becoming abusive as adults. Family violence may influence a child towards violence but is not the cause. Ultimately the choice is up to that individual.
However, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, "Men who witness domestic violence as children are twice as likely to abuse their children are twice as likely to abuse their own partners, than those who did not witness family violence."
Children who witness family violence experience feelings of being frightened, guilty and ashamed. Toddlers act out by breaking toys. Teenage boys tend to get into fights. Teenage girls withdrawal and internalize their negative feelings. Children of all ages exhibit symptoms of uncontrolled outburst of anger, post-traumatic stress syndrome and problems concentrating in school. They are more likely to be depressed, have anxiety and be violent towards their peers. They are more likely to commit suicide, use drugs and alcohol, runaway and engaged in sexual activities.
Children might feel caught in the middle of both parents. Young men might protect their mothers or start to abuse them their-self. This is why it is important to put children into counseling to teach them nonviolent ways of dealing with their parents' fights and how to escape if needed.
According to one study, 70% of children who witness family violence do not become violent. Instead ecological, psychological, interpersonal and societal issues determine the probability of a child becoming abusive as adults. Family violence may influence a child towards violence but is not the cause. Ultimately the choice is up to that individual.
However, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, "Men who witness domestic violence as children are twice as likely to abuse their children are twice as likely to abuse their own partners, than those who did not witness family violence."
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Male role models?
My view about men has changed due to all I have experienced in the last few years. This one experience didn't change my viewpoint; the relationship was the cherry on top of the icing on top of the cake.
He would tell me constantly through our relationship that no man wanted me for anything other than sex. If a man was friendly or even just cordial to me it was that guys way of tearing down the boundaries to get closer to me. That is why he did even want to retun a greeting from a man, because he viewed the greeting as an advance.
I felt many man spent too much time trying to get at women, but I didn't feel like every man was trying to sleep with me. Now I do not even take the chance; I am really abrupt with men. In no way do I want to give the impression that I would welcome an inappropriate advance. I also now feel that 95% of men are selfish creatures and they use woman.
I have to get my negative feelings about men in check, because I have a son that I am raising to be a beautiful, strong, compassionate and respectful young man. He will need strong male role models, but how will I be able to provide him that if I do not trust men enough to even hold friendship with them. How would I be able to trust a man around my son? I do not trust his own father around him. The thing is that I can't keep him sheltered much longer. Soon he will have to go to school and I will not be able to watch and protect him all day long. The thought of that scares me.
He would tell me constantly through our relationship that no man wanted me for anything other than sex. If a man was friendly or even just cordial to me it was that guys way of tearing down the boundaries to get closer to me. That is why he did even want to retun a greeting from a man, because he viewed the greeting as an advance.
I felt many man spent too much time trying to get at women, but I didn't feel like every man was trying to sleep with me. Now I do not even take the chance; I am really abrupt with men. In no way do I want to give the impression that I would welcome an inappropriate advance. I also now feel that 95% of men are selfish creatures and they use woman.
I have to get my negative feelings about men in check, because I have a son that I am raising to be a beautiful, strong, compassionate and respectful young man. He will need strong male role models, but how will I be able to provide him that if I do not trust men enough to even hold friendship with them. How would I be able to trust a man around my son? I do not trust his own father around him. The thing is that I can't keep him sheltered much longer. Soon he will have to go to school and I will not be able to watch and protect him all day long. The thought of that scares me.
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