Encounter with a victim

Yesterday, I went up to the Sheriff's office to file my out of state order of protection with my county's office. My local precinct has a copy of my order but I was advised by the DV advocate at the solicitor's office to file it with the sheriff department. I made the long trip for no reason. The detective looked at my order and told me that I didn't need to file a copy with their office. He told me that my order was valid and if I saw my batterer than I should call 911.

Frustrated I left. On my way out of the building I encountered a woman who was very distraught. I spoke to her because I felt I could help her even if it was with kind words. She confided in me that she was trying to get an order of protection against her ex-boyfriend. She had spent several hours, going from one county ( the county where she lived) and was told she would have to file in the county where he lived. She then went up to the courthouse to fill out paperwork and wait only to learn that the judge left and she would have to come back the next day. She was very upset. Earlier that day her ex-boyfriend set off about 20 fireworks on her front door step, scaring her and filling her apartment with smoke. She called the police but they could not file a formal complaint because she had not witness him put the firworks in front of her door.

She told me that the man was upset because she had recently changed her telephone number because he was harassing her. She had only dated the man for two months but he didn't want the relationship to end. She told me that she has been trying to break up with him for the two months they were together. She knew very early in the relationship that she did not want to pursue it further. However, he would wear on her and she would take him back.

Now she was fearful he would try to hurt her. As much as she wanted to get the order of protection, she couldn't risk missing another day at work. She did not want his behavior to cost her job. She also felt that the order of protection would just anger him more. "Forget the order of protection, I'm going to get a gun. That is the only way we can really be safe you know. No ones cares about us."

I felt her words but also felt there has to be some other way. I shared my concerned about her safety, even offered her safety at my home for the night until she could transfer apt units at her complex. She kindly declined, as I would have if a stranger offered me the same choice. She was very flustered so I talked to her until she could get her thoughts clear enough to remember where she had parked her car earlier that day. We hugged each other tightly before saying our goodbyes. We pleaded with one another to stay safe. Even though I gave her my number, I know she will not call. No more than I called others who reached out to me in moments of panick and extreme anxiety.

Will she be okay? Will I? Time can only tell.