The lies he told

The way he described how he ex-girlfriend treated him, when we first started to date, made me feel sorry for him. How could he endure such abuse? He said she constantly cheated on him throughout their seven year relationship. She never held a job. She forced him to sell drugs to support them. She lied about their son being his and even after she told him the truth he was such a great man he decided to still raise the little boy as his own son. He made her seem like a devil and he was the poor victim. I felt I had to prove to him that not all women were like her. It was my duty to restore his hope in women.

When he would accuse me of cheating, my first thought was he was having flashbacks about his ex-girlfriend. I didn't get too upset with it because I blamed for making him that way.

Imagine my shock when years later he confessed that he made all those things up about her. His reasoning, "I was just mad at her." So why all of a sudden was he not mad at her anymore? Why did he decide to confess the truth? Was he sleeping with her again? And if he lied about her, I could just imagine what kind of lies he told people about me.

He has on several occasions told me that people in his family did not like me. I couldn't understand why they did not, when I supported him financially and was loyal to him even through all the madness. I guess they didn't like me because of the stories he lied and told them about me. I guess he had to make up a good story about why I put him in jail - twice.

He also told me in the beginning of our relationship that he would never put his hands on a female. He told me never did it in the past and would never do it in the future. I found out later that both of those were also lies. His ex-girlfriend that he talked so badly about he cheated on her constantly through their relationship. When he suspected that she seek revenge on him, he choked her and hit her to teach her a lesson. She called the cops and he was arrested. But he convinced her to drop the charges. When did I find this out? After he hit me and I called the cops on him. He told me, "The cops will lie and try and tell you that you can't drop the charges and you may go to jail for filing a false police report. Don't worry it is not true. They tried to do the same thing with my ex when she had initially brought charges on me. But she didn't show up to court and the case got dismissed." I was shocked about this confession, but even more about how proud he was about being able to get over on the legal system.

As the months and years passed, (remember I dealt with him for about four years), the layers of lies unfolded. I learned that my son was not his first born son. He had two other sons he never told me about, including his ex's child that he claimed he raised even though he wasn't really his. The truth is that he had no idea where they were because she ran off with his child. (She went into hiding!) If I had known this in the beginning I would have never ever been in a relationship with him.

You cannot always tell when a man is lying, but you have to listen to what it is that he says. If he talks about an ex-partner in a demeaning disrespectful way, that is a very strong warning that you should heed. Most likely he will talk about you in the same manner if you ever become his ex-girlfriend. Also, you have to ask yourself how and why he would he talk so badly about a person who he used to love.