He said he felt obligated and left...

My life will never be the same because of what I went through in my relationship with 'him'. It is hurtful that I feel like I am still suffering, even after leaving the relationship nearly a year ago. I am a single mom and it is extremely difficult. I have to handle all the responsibilities on my own. I feel like he trapped me. Either you do as I say and deal with the abuse or you will be left to care for the children yourself.

I think of when my son was born. I had a doctors appointment and during the visit learned that things were very wrong with the pregnancy and the hospital could not let me go. I had 7.5 weeks left in my pregnancy and was not ready emotionally or financially for my son. I needed more time. God decided that the time was going to come early. Even still I needed my 'him' to be there for me. He was very selfish. I remember him telling me that he felt obligated to be there for me. This man who begged me to have his baby, was now telling me that he felt obligated to stay.

I should have known that was a clue of what my life as a mom would be like. He didn't stay with me in the hospital and I ended up having an emergency c-section. I was all alone in the delivery room with all the doctors. There was no family member or friend there to reassure me that everything was going to be okay, there was no one there to hold my son or see him take his first breath. 'He' showed up to the hospital 12 hours later. He didn't check any of his messages on his cell phone or the house phone and never thought to call the hospital so he had no idea that I had given birth to his son. When he finally showed up he was drunk or high. That is my so special memory of the birth of my first child. No matter what happens in my life I will never be able to get that day back. Lord knows I deserved more than that. I deserved to have shared that memory with someone who loved me.