Wednesday, September 24, 2008

What makes a healthy relationships

Information taken from the Advocates for Youth web site, http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/youth/health/relationships/healthy.htm.

Being in a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP means …


Loving and taking care of yourself, before and while in a relationship.

Respecting individuality, embracing differences, and allowing each person to "be themselves."

Doing things with friends and family and having activities independent of each other.

Discussing things, allowing for differences of opinion, and compromising equally.

Expressing and listening to each other's feelings, needs, and desires.

Trusting and being honest with yourself and each other.

Respecting each other's need for privacy.

Practicing safer sex methods.

Respecting sexual boundaries and being able to say no to sex.

Resolving conflicts in a rational peaceful, and mutually agreed upon way.

There is room for positive growth and you learn more about each other as you develop and mature


If you are in an UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP …


You care for and focus on another person only and neglect yourself or you focus only on yourself and neglect the other person.

You feel pressure to change to meet the other person's standards, you are afraid to disagree, and your ideas or criticized. Or, you pressure the other person to meet your standards and criticize his/her ideas.

One of you has to justify what you do, where you go, and who you see.

One of you makes all the decisions and controls everything without listening to the other's input.

One of you feels unheard and is unable to communicate what you want.

You lie to each other and find yourself making excuses for the other person.

You don't have any personal space and have to share everything with the other person.

Your partner keeps his/her sexual history a secret or hides a sexually transmitted infection from you or you do not disclose your history to your partner

You feel scared of asking your partner to use protection or s/he has refused your requests for safer sex. Or, you refuse to use safer sex methods after your partner has requested or you make your partner feel scared.

Your partner has forced you to have sex or you have had sex when you don't really want to. Or, you have forced or coerced your partner to have sex.

One or both of you yells and hits, shoves or throws things at the other in an argument.

You feel stifled, trapped, and stagnant. You are unable to escape the pressures of the relationship.

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