Verbal Mind Play

Some days I would feel empowered and other days I felt powerless. He would really give it to me on the days I felt powerless. He knew my moods. He knew how to get me. I was playing defense and was playing offense and defense. I have a college degree but he is from the streets and had a PHD in street smarts. He’s been in jail so he knows how to play the survival game on a whole 'nother level. I was smart but I couldn’t keep up with his mind games.

I tried not to let my emotions rule me. I tried to think with my head with him, because if I thought with my emotions he could manipulate me. He tried to make me think I was going crazy. Tried to make me think I didn’t hear what I heard, or seen what I seen, or experienced what I experienced.

He would call me a sneaky slut and then deny it. Tell me I was making it up because he didn't just say that. He would tell me I was going crazy. Say I was trying to start shit. Said I probably thought he called me a sneaky slut because I was feeling guilty about something. Than would ask me if I had something to confess. You see the mind games. How he would turn things back on me. Usually I would go into the defense. Say I don't have anything to hide and he needs to stop with the whole I am a cheater and liar thing. If I went into the defense he would have won, but if I flipped the script and told him that I ain't no stupid bi#$2 and I know what he said and he better stop playing my like a fool than I would have won that round. When I figured out one of his techniques he would smile proudly. He said he was preparing me for the world. It was his job to make me stronger.