Reclaiming my life

I decided today after much back and forth; that I will not move to another apartment. I am going to stay here at my home. I refuse to allow anyone to drive me away. I have way too much stress and responsibilities to keep running away. At some point I have to take a stand and fight back. This does not mean that fighting back has to be a physical thing. I have to fight by mentally by reclaiming my life.

The person I was before entering this relationship and who I am now is very diffrent. I know I will never be the same because I have grown tremendously, however, I have to reclaim some of my youthful spirit back. Living in fear is not what God wants for my life. I mean this is not living, it is just surviving and I am tired of just surviving. I need my life back.

I spent the day cleaning, deep cleaning my home and rearranging my furniture. As soon as I get my hand on a couple of dollars I am going to buy myself a huge canvas and some oil paints and turn my feelings into a great piece. I am going to get some of my photos printed and framed and hang them up on my walls. I am going to turn this place into my personal art gallery. That is who I am at the end of the day; an artistic type.

If he can live his life...than I can live mine. He lives me alone and he will not go back to jail. He comes around me and the kids and than it will just have to be war. The thing is I have God on my side. I have to. There is no way I made it this far with two babies and virtual NO help, if God has no been here by my side the whole time. I am reclaiming my life and big things are about to happen for me and my family.